Of OCs and Self-Inserts
by We Thought It'd Be Funny
Summary: Several Self-inserts recount more interesting parts of their "trips". I finally caved. Accepting OCs.
1. Light

Yo. Funny here with another test- I wanted to try this for a while, and now, I decided "what the hey", and started typing. Basically, it's a bunch of Self-Inserts from Tales of Symphonia (random OCs) recounting highlights from their adventures. I hope you enjoy it.

And hey! If you have an OC to send in, send in a suggestion! Just PM me, yeah?

Enjoy!

I do not own Tales of Symphonia.

Sincerely,

-Funny.

P.S. OC name- Alexander Cole Simmons. Height is five feet and ten inches. Weighs about 190 pounds, short brown hair, and brown eyes.

* * *

Heya! Name's Alexander Simmons, but you can call me Al, if you want.

Me? Well, the story is really long, but to make it short, I was thrown into a video game. It's a long story, and it involves burritos.

Don't ask. Anyway, here I am, back on good ol' Terra Firma, when I decide to publish a survival guide so anybody else who falls in will be prepared. But, the problem is, people have already done that. And they did it better. Kind of ironic, considering I actually _went_ through it.

But, even so, I figure I should do my part, so I'll give you a tip- AND I'll give you a reason to do it.

So, here it goes: Tip #1: Always carry a source of light with you at all times.

If you don't, it could end… poorly.

* * *

"Who's holding onto my shoulder?"

"Me, sorry."

"Gotcha."

"What? If I tried that-"

"You have a track record, Zelos. Al doesn't."

Zelos pouted as we kept walking along the platforms in the Temple of Lightning, my hand practically glued to Sheena's shoulder. Say what you will about me, but I certainly did not want to fall off of this thing. My guess was that Sheena thought that I could yank her away from a close call, which probably explained why I hadn't been Pyre Sealed into oblivion. We kept walking in silence, all eight of us, the quiet disrupted only when the brief flashes of lightning cut through the dark and lit up the room. When that happened, Raine would tell us how far to walk before turning or stopping.

It was almost like trying to navigate a room lit by strobe lights, only less frequent.

"Why is it so dark in here?" Lloyd asked. I couldn't see him, but I was fairly certain he was looking around.

"It's part of the trial." Zelos piped up. We would have turned to look at him, but that would have been pointless. "Something symbolic about a single candle lighting the darkness or whatever."

Seriously? We were risking our lives because the builders were trying for_ symbolism?_

"So we have to navigate a dark room? Isn't that more of a thing you'd expect from the Temple of Darkness?" Lloyd asked with that childlike curiosity of his.

I heard a rustle of fabric- did Zelos shrug?

"Don't ask me. Take it up with the Church of Martel, if you have a problem."

I briefly wondered if we could sue them for false advertising, and wondered if we would win.

"Stop."

Raine's command stopped us all in our tracks. We waited until the flash and crash that illuminated the room.

"Turn right and keep moving for about ten paces." She said. We followed her orders marvelously, before stopping again, and waiting. The flash came again- was it my imagination, or were we farther behind than everybody else?

"Turn right and keep going until I say stop."

Maneuvering around (due to holding onto Sheena's kimono-type-thing) we turned right and started to move forward.

Then Sheena stumbled.

"WAH!" she screamed, flailing around. My hand automatically clamped down harder on her shoulder as I tried to keep her from falling. Another flash of light came, and I saw that she was about to fall down there. Also? Sheena looked _terrified._

I tried to yank her back, but she was flailing around too much. Her arms were moving around, and she was trying to get her other foot back on solid ground. However, her leg swung in the wrong direction, and ended up hitting a very, VERY painful place.

As I squeaked and settled into my new octave, I doubled over and lost my balance. With Sheena.

And we fell.

Screaming.

Eventually, we hit some kind of curve, and started to speed up like we were on some kind of-

Slide.

Until we got out of that place, I didn't quite put two and two together that there was a playground slide in the Temple of Lightning. We were too busy screaming. Of course, the fun didn't end there. The slide did end, and we tumbled out into the light.

"OW!"

I landed hard, but it was nothing compared to what came after. I looked up in time to see a blue and pink blur coming straight at me. I don't remember the timeline, but the world became pain for a few minutes there. After the daze subsided, I had a very concerned pair of eyes on me.

"Al, are you okay?" Sheena asked, concerned.

"Peachy." I managed to wheeze out.

"Geez…" she hissed through clenched teeth as she plucked something out of a hidden pocket on her kimono/not-kimono. I felt something with a vague lemon-y aftertaste slide into my mouth. The pain subsided almost immediately, and my vision got clearer. And-

Wow. Sheena's face was rather close.

"Uh, Sheena?"

"Yeah?"

"…Personal space?" I mumbled, blushing.

She gasped and scrambled back- geez, that girl can _move_, when she wants to. I started to get up, and noted an embarrassed blush on her face.

"Let's not talk about this." I grumbled.

"Agreed."

The (third) worst seconds of my life over with, we set out to find the group and make the pact with Volt.

And from that day forward, I kept a matchbook with me at all times.

* * *

And there you have it.

Read and Review, please.

Sincerely,

Funny.


	2. Earth

A character request already, from Hilinarema! Nifty, that. Lemme just jot down some info for you guys...

Name: Yonah Bellcrest.

Hair: Strawberry Blonde.

Time of insertion: Pre-Kharlan War (Age 17) and TOS 1 (Age 21).

Weapon: Bow and Arrow.

That'll just about do it. On with the show, now!

I own neither Tales of Symphonia or Yonah Bellcrest.

Enjoy.

Sincerely,

Funny.

* * *

"Three!"

BOOM!

"SON OF A-"

I swore up a storm as I failed, for the hundredth time, to sync up an earthquake with that freaking Gnomelette. He was doing this on purpose! I swear.

"Need some help?" I didn't turn around, because judging from the slight snicker in the voice, I knew who it was.

"The day I trust you with earthquake power is the day I stick one of these arrows through my own eye." I grumbled to Mithos, jiggling the quiver on my back for emphasis. "One more time!" I called to the Gnomelette, who just nodded.

"One, two, three!" he called, jumping.

Gotcha!

BOOM!

"WHAT THE- ARGH!"

"This is getting old fast." Yuan grumbled, checking the pocket watch he always carried around. Kratos peered over his shoulder to check the time.

"I can do this!" I yelled. "One more!"

"One, two, three!"

BOOM!

"DANG IT! ONE MORE!"

"One, two, three!"

Now!

BOOM!

"HAHA! YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT WASN'T _PERFECT_, YOU-"

I stopped in the middle of that train of thought when the bridge shattered by lack of support, and the repeated earthquakes that hit it every five seconds, courtesy of yours truly.

"AAAAAAAAAA!"

"GYAH!"

"YONAH!"

"CRAP!"

"NO!"

CRUNCH!

I slowly opened up my eyes to see that, I had, miraculously, not broken any bones, and that I had only fallen about ten feet. The shard of the bridge that I was standing on was big enough to not fall through the rather large gap in the rock. I heard four pairs of feet hit the ground around me, and saw my companions all around me.

"Are you okay?" Martel immediately asked, looking me over for injuries, her green hair swaying slightly.

I couldn't answer. Right now, I felt like if I tried to speak, my heart would just go "NOPE." And jump out of my throat.

I looked up to see Mithos offering me his hand, which I accepted.

"Thanks." I mumbled. My heart, fortunately, stayed in my chest.

"I think one of us should use the sorcerer's ring next time around." Martel mumbled, still shook up by my near miss with death.

"That sounds great, Martel." I said, my voice nervously darting around my vocal range.

* * *

"Hey, Yonah, you there?"

I blinked a few times and stared at Genis, who was staring at me with a worried expression.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just remembering some unpleasant memories." I said, staring straight ahead at the entrance to the Temple of Earth.

I can't believe I'm back here again…

* * *

"Wow! This place is huge!" Lloyd gasped, taking in the Earth Temple's vastness.

That it was. In terms of sheer size and scope, the Temple of Earth was likely only rivaled by the temples of Darkness and Lightning.

"Hey, look! It's one of those thingies!"

At Lloyd's exclamation, I turned around to find him next to a Sorcerer's Station, as I had taken to calling it. The gem set into the ring filled with earth mana, turning it a light brown color.

Lloyd held his fist in the air.

Instinctively, I prepared for the tremor that the Sorcerer's Ring would bring about…

BOOM!

…And was the only one left standing when the quake hit.

"How are you still standing?" Genis asked from his position on the floor.

I shrugged. "Practice."

"Practice?" Regal asked, curiosity in his voice as he struggled to get up with his handcuffs on.

"Yeah." I answered.

"How do you train for something like that?" Zelos griped, dusting off his pants.

"It's just something you pick up on." Which was technically true. I used the earthquake thing like four hundred times trying to get that puzzle right.

Speaking of the ring…

"Fork it over, Irving."

"What? Why?" Lloyd asked.

"Because I know enough about you to know that you and earthquakes equals disaster." I said simply, holding out a hand.

"Oh, come on! Please?" He asked, practically begging.

Boy, flashbacks of Mithos, I tell you... Lloyd would probably deny it, but he and young Mithos were so alike it was scary.

Besides, if he knew what was ahead with that ring, he wouldn't be asking this. He didn't know about the rocks tumbling down, or waking up monsters… Or annoying drop-down puzzles… Or… Or infuriating tile puzzles… And- and t-the caterpillars th-that randomly fell on you wh-when you used it…

…

You know what?

"Fine."

Lloyd's eyes widened.

"Really?" He asked, not believing his own ears.

"Go for it. Prove that you're a responsible adult." I said with a smile.

"Yahoo! Thanks, Yonah! You're the best!" He said, grinning like a fool.

"Oh, believe me, the pleasure is all mine." I said, my grin growing wider and more vindictive.

* * *

"T-TAKE IT BACK! TAKE THE RING BACK!"

"Nope."

"WHERE DO THESE CATERPILLARS KEEP COMING FROM, ANYWAY!?"

"Good question!"

* * *

"AUGH!"

"LLOYD!"

"NO!"

_Well,_ I thought, _I think he's…_

…_Falling head over heels for this temple._

* * *

YEAAAAAAAAAAH!

I would like to thank Hilinarema for sending in her OC! I wasn't expecting one so early on, but hey, I'm not complaining!

And that does it! Stay tuned for more, and remember, I'm willing to take on your OC and try to do a thing. Just send me a PM, yeah? I'll tell you my plans, you give me the go ahead, and if you're polite, I'll write! Hey! I rhymed! Nifty!

Well, until next time! See ya!

Sincerely,

Funny.

P.S. I almost forgot! Read and review, please!


	3. Spare Clothes

Yo! Me again. not much else to say...

Review Responses!

Hilinarema- Glad you enjoyed it!

EDIT: I realized I forgot to even name this character! Her name is Iris Howards: Five foot nine, brown hair, and brown eyes.

On with the show! I do not own Tales of Symphonia.

Sincerely,

-Funny.

* * *

In all honesty, I should have been able to predict it. Whenever Lloyd got that look of childlike excitement on his face, it either ended in boredom and disappointment, or a sticky situation.

This day, fate decided on the latter.

* * *

"You'd think a place so close to a geyser would be a little warmer! Why is it so cold?" I grumbled through chattering teeth, clutching the light-blue coat closer to my frame. Seriously, I thought geysers were heated up by magma, so why was it so cold?

"It isn't common knowledge, but the element of water is so close to the element of ice, that the two often share a domain. The low temperature in here is likely due to some stray ice-elemental mana." Raine said, drawing her trademark orange coat closer to herself.

Huh. You learn something new every day. Not that it raised the temperature or anything, but still. This only strengthened my belief that I did NOT want to fall into that water. Not only was it likely freezing, but getting soaked in this place was just asking for a cold, or hypothermia.

"'Lette, stay away from the water." I said, turning to the blonde Chosen. "If the Professor is right, and she usually is, falling in would not be good."

Colette smiled at me, and nodded. I couldn't help but grin, even though I was freezing. This girl's smile was contagious.

"So, what now?" Lloyd asked, perfectly warm in that snug-looking red jacket of his. I need a heavier coat for times like this.

Then again, my style relies mostly on my speed. Can't have a coat in the way. It's gonna be a serious pain when we have to traipse through Flanoir, though.

Oh, dang. Flanoir. Just thinking about it made it colder.

I stopped clutching my coat and decided to keep moving. Shake off the shivers, that's what my Dad would say.

"Alright, what's the plan? Keep moving?" I asked nobody in particular.

"Indeed." Raine said, staring straight ahead with a bit of a gleam in her eye. Everybody else thought "Ruin Mode" was creepy. I personally found it hilarious.

But, the Professor has spoken. Without a whine or a gripe, we all headed further into the temple.

* * *

"Hey guys, look!" Lloyd shouted.

We all turned our heads and saw Lloyd pointing towards one of those things where you could switch the power of the Sorcerer's Ring.

Huh. Nifty.

Lloyd held his hand up to the thing and the gem changed from red to deep blue. He turned and inspected it.

"I wonder what it does…" he mused, holding up his hand…

And not realizing that he was pointing the ring straight at me.

I didn't think much of it, at first, until I realized I would freeze in here, the temperature being what it was.

"Wait, don't-"

But I was too late. He had already used it.

Now, I knew it was the water power, where the little ball of water splashes out.

Only it wasn't small. It was a huge globe of water about a foot in diameter, headed right for me. It hit before I could react, and it knocked me clean off my feet. I landed in a puddle, and, judging by how cold it was, I was sopping wet.

I gave Lloyd a flat glare as I sat there in a puddle, freezing to death.

"Hehe…"

"…Sorry."

* * *

In case you're wondering? That "Sorry" didn't stop the cold I got.

My advice? When you get sucked into your favorite game…

…Get some spare clothes.

* * *

That's all.

Read and Review, please.

Sincerely,

-Funny.


	4. Always A Way Out

Alright, I'm on a roll! This guy's name is Maxwell. Blonde hair, green eyes, average build and height.

I do not own Tales of Symphonia!

Sincerely,

Funny.

Oh, wait, I almost forgot review responses. One sec.

Regal Bryant Lover-...

...

*head explodes*

* * *

Hey. What's up? Name's Maxwell. Call me Max. My story here actually started with my little brother, who had been pestering me nonstop about this game he was playing, and how I should play it too.

I figured it was like when he started playing Pokémon: he'd be into it, then his interest would peter out eventually.

Granted, it took a year, but that's not the point. Anyway, he was way into this game, Tales of Symphonia. Kid would come home then bolt up to the room where we kept the Wii. I thought his interest would die out, but it kept going. He even bought one of those wall scrolls with his favorite character on it.

Raine Sage, if you're curious.

Anyway, one day, he was at a friend's house (apparently, the friend had bought the sequel), so I decided to see what the fuss was about. I plopped in disc one and started a New Game Plus with one of my brother's files to get the good stuff and make it a cakewalk.

Big mistake. I ended up in the dang game, with Raine Sage herself staring down at me.

I got outta there, after a lot of hardship. So now? I'm gonna drop a pearl of wisdom here.

There is always a way out of a situation.

ALWAYS.

* * *

I'll admit it, it took my breath away, and not a lot of things could do that anymore.

It all started when Genis had to take a bathroom break, and ducked into the woods we were walking by. We never expected him to "have something to show us" when he got back. We followed him into the woods, darting this way and that while listening to Raine's protests.

But when we got there, we forgot all about that.

"Wow." Sheena breathed, not sure what to say about the pristine lake in front of us. It was like a mirror on the far side, perfectly reflecting the early afternoon sky, while the closer water was clearer than a pane of glass, showing small fish darting this way and that.

It looked like a perfect place to fish, but I wouldn't even dream of throwing a worm into a place as beautiful as this.

"My word…" Raine mumbled, her irritation with Genis forgotten. She scooped up some of the clear water and marveled as it trickled through her fingers. "This is incredible. The mana is so thick here…" she murmured, forgetting the world around her.

It looks like all it takes is a scientific miracle to get her over her hydrophobia. Odd.

I stared at the wonderful lake for a while, oblivious to the world around me.

Until I felt someone tugging on my sleeve.

"Mister Harvey?" Colette asked. I turned in response to the fake name- I kept Maxwell, but dropped my last name (Johnson) in favor of the last name of my favorite Final Fantasy character, Cecil Harvey, from Final Fantasy IV.

I looked down at her, and saw she was pointing at the lake with this concerned expression on her face. I looked to where she was pointing (I had to squint and tilt my head a little, granted) but I eventually saw it. It looked like a horse with a horn-

…

No way.

Was that a unicorn!?

"Is that a unicorn!?" I shouted in disbelief. I knew this game was set in a fantasy setting, but a unicorn!?

Really!?

"It is!" Raine gasped, staring at it in awe. "This is incredible! If we could get over there, and get its horn, we could cure Pietro and Clara!" She said, her eyes lighting up.

The light quickly died, however, when she realized that the unicorn was underwater. And trapped.

"But how are we going to meet the unicorn?" Sheena asked, her brow furrowed. "We'd have to free it, first of all, and figure out how to not drown." She mumbled.

Kratos spoke up next, offering his nifty tidbit of plot advancement.

"The Summon Spirit of Water, Undine." He said.

We all turned to look at him as he elaborated in Cam Clarke's voice (which really just made me want to scream "LIQUID!").

"If we could make a pact with Undine, we wouldn't have to worry about the water, and we could free the Unicorn from its prison." He said. "Unfortunately, the Art of Summoning was lost long ago."

I just stared at him. Why he couldn't have mentioned that sooner was beyond me.

"Is that our only option?" Raine asked, her brow furrowed in concentration.

"Unless you guys think I can hold my breath that long." I chimed in, half-joking, half-serious. I snorkeled before and picked up a huge rock (which is still in my room to this day) so this shouldn't be any different.

Raine shook her head. "It won't work. The Unicorn doesn't like men. Only pure maidens can approach it." She said.

I swore under my breath so Raine couldn't hear.

"Perfect. So that leaves you, Colette, and Sheena to get to this thing, if we can." I grumbled.

Then Raine said something that I couldn't hear.

"Sorry?" I asked.

"…I can't go out there."

What? She was a girl, right? The requirement was a pure maiden-

…

Oh.

Ooooh.

Oh dear.

"What do you mean, sis?" Genis asked with childlike curiosity.

Raine blushed.

"B-Because I'm an adult." She said.

"Is it because you're afraid of water?" Genis asked.

Raine blushed even more and smacked Genis. Unfortunately, I was fairly convinced that it was the… other requirement. I mean, c'mon. The chance to meet a freaking UNICORN? Raine would swim in herself if she thought she could do it.

Genis rubbed his head and looked right at me-

Oh no.

No no no no.

I am not telling this kid that his sister-

"Do you know what she means, Max?" he asked.

Crap.

"Why are you sweating?" Lloyd asked, eyeing the beads gently trickling down my face.

"Uh…" I looked at Raine, and the two of us had a completely silent conversation.

_Help!_

_What do you want ME to do!?_

_Something! Anything!_

_Just tell him something!_

_What do I say!? "Oh Genis, quick BTW, your sister isn't a virgin!"_

_NO! Something else!_

_Dang it!_

"Ghkt!" I choked out, thinking it over.

Do they even know?

"Uh, Gen? Out of curiosity, what comes to mind when I say 'the birds and the bees'?" I asked, Raine staring at me in disbelief.

Genis scowled.

_Crap! Raine is gonna kill me-_

"Don't change the subject!" he growled.

_Wha-!?_

"Yeah. Birds fly, and bees fly. So what?" Lloyd chimed in.

…Okay, screw covering Raine. I'm genuinely concerned.

"…Where do babies come from?" I asked them all, Lloyd, Genis, and Colette.

They all answered unanimously.

"The stork."

…

WHAT.

I glared at Raine, who was avoiding my gaze and blushing. Sheena seemed to be going between "are you serious" and "can we change the subject please". Kratos, well, his jaw was on the _floor_ (In retrospect, what was probably going through his mind was, "Oh sweet everything that is my own seventeen-year-old son doesn't know how babies are made.").

"Get back to the point. What did she mean?" Genis asked, folding his arms.

"Uh." Was my most intelligent reply. Then I said something a little smarter.

"You… You have to be… How old is your sister?" I asked.

"Twenty-three. Why?" He asked, unsure of where this was going.

"Well, there you have it! To be a maiden, you have to be under twenty! Sheena's nineteen, and Colette's sixteen! So they can go!" I finished, wiping the sweat from my brow.

Genis stared at me.

_Please buy it…_

"That stinks." Genis sniffed, annoyed.

I let out a pent-up sigh of relief and ignored the events that followed, privately celebrating with Raine, who was equally relieved.

* * *

"Hey, Max?"

I turned around to see the speaker, Genis, with Lloyd and Colette in tow.

"Yeah, Gen?" I said casually, leaning back in the inn's wooden chair.

"Uh, I- we, that is- wanted to ask you something." He mumbled.

"Shoot." I said, stretching out.

"Well, you know earlier, at Lake Umacy?" He asked.

I froze.

"Why did you ask us how babies were made?" Colette asked, confused.

No.

No.

I can't talk my way out of this. And I am NOT telling a bunch of kids about the birds and the bees.

Oh, no. Exit. Where? There!

"YOU'LL NEVER EVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS!"

"Hey!"

"What the-?"

"Oh, my!"

CRASH!

Window, you save the day yet again!

* * *

And I fled into the Hima sunset returning only to sleep when the others were sleeping, and pay five-hundred Gald for repairs to the window. The innkeeper was mad, but the waitress seemed sympathetic.

Raine, you can explain it to the kids. Phaidra did NOT pay me enough for that!

* * *

*head is still exploded*

*review please*

*Sincerely,*

*-Funny.*


	5. Z Skits, Part I

Here we are, with something different. Hilinarema (who submitted Yonah Bellcrest) suggested a Z-skit with Yonah. It sounded like fun, so I decided to do one for Al, Yonah, Iris (from Chapter 3), and Max!

I hope you enjoy it!

Review responses!

Regal Bryant Lover- Just my opinion. Really, I picture each of these chapters as happening in their own little universe, so who knows what happened, where it happened, or when it happened?

On with the show! I do not own Tales of Symphonia or Yonah Bellcrest!

Sincerely,

-Funny.

* * *

_Serenity Now…? _PRESS Z BUTTON…

Al: *Eyes Closed*

Lloyd: Hey, Al. I wanted to ask you something!

Al: …

Lloyd: …Al? Are you in there?

Al: …

Lloyd: Al? Are you okay?

Genis: What's going on?

Lloyd: I dunno. Al isn't responding to a word I say.

Genis: Huh. That's weird. Usually you can't shut him up.

Lloyd: Hey Al! ALLLL!

Genis: AL!

Al: *Eyes Open* *Angrily* I'M MEDITATING! SCREW OFF! *Shuts Eyes*

Genis and Lloyd: *Shocked* …

Genis: …I thought meditation was supposed to make you calm…

* * *

_Alphabet Worries _ PRESS Z BUTTON…

Zelos: Hello, my darling Yonah!

Yonah: Oh, hey Zelos. Can this wait? I was planning on practicing with my bow a little…

Zelos: Oh, come now, my darling little kitty! I've come to talk about some pretty heavy stuff!

Yonah: …Like what?

Zelos: Fate.

Genis: This should be good.

Zelos: I can't help but think heavy thoughts late at night. I can't help but contemplate the mysteries that fate gives us!

Yonah: …Wow. That was actually kinda deep, Zelos.

Zelos: I can't help but notice that Y and Z are side by side!

Yonah: (AAAND there it goes.) Congratulations. You've learned the alphabet.

Zelos: You don't see it? Y and Z… Yonah and Zelos! We were meant to be!

Genis: That makes zero sense.

Yonah: I suppose, in a way that could be true, but it works both ways.

Zelos: What do you mean?

Yonah: One word: Yuan.

Zelos: *Speechless*

Genis: HA!

* * *

_Adorable! _ PRESS Z BUTTON…

Iris: Who's a good puppy?

Noishe: *Whine*

Iris: You're a good puppy!

Noishe: *Whine* *Whine*

Iris: Such a good puppy! SUCH A GOOD PU-!

Regal: What are you-?

Iris: A-AAAA!

Regal: …

Iris: P-please don't tell anyone… I'll never live this down…

Regal: Your secret's safe with me. *leaves*

Noishe: *…Whine*

Iris: …Good puppy!

* * *

_Similarities _ PRESS Z BUTTON…

Max and Presea: DEVASTATION!

Raine: Curious…

Max: Something on your mind, Professor?

Raine: You and Presea share many similarities in your fighting styles, down to your heavy weapons. You wield a hammer, she wields an axe.

Max: Huh. Never noticed.

Presea: Is there an explanation for this phenomenon?

Raine: Perhaps, depending on the weapon and style used, exspheres develop and supplement techs based on what it learns?

Max: Huh. Never thought about it like that. What kind of techs do you think someone would get if they used a bow and arrow?

Raine: …You wouldn't happen to know how to use one… *Ruin Mode Smile* …would you?

Max: Uh-oh…

* * *

That's all I got.

Read and Review, please!

Sincerely,

-Funny.


	6. Pep Talk

Deciding to be more serious here. This guy is named Richard. Was a human, now a half-elf mage.

He's not as good as Genis, though.

He's fourteen, with blonde hair and blue eyes. He's about five foot four, with a below average build.

Enjoy.

I do not own Tales of Symphonia.

Sincerely,

-Funny.

* * *

Hello. My name is Richard. I was transported to this world, Sylvarant, after this weird guy said I was needed. It's a long story, but it… kind of ended poorly for me. I came back alright, but in that world…

…

Any way. My tip is to speak your mind.

Believe me…

* * *

The crackling flames danced in the fire, illuminating my face and sending gentle waves of heat through the room. Almost everyone had gone to sleep at this point, but I couldn't. It was these quiet Hima nights that always kept me up. We were so high up, we had easily passed the cloud barrier, and the full moon shone as bright as its solar counterpart.

I sighed, absently flipping through a book that Raine had lent me- a record of the Balacruf Dynasty, tattered and worn from its owner's perusal.

There were pictures of old, broken vases and dusty coffins, and the odd scribbles in the ruins. I felt sleepy, but I always just sort of jolted before falling asleep.

Annoying. My eyelids had just drooped shut for what I was sure was the fifteenth time, when I heard a creaking behind me. I turned around in my chair to find Presea descending the stairs, in her usual attire, but her hair was let down.

"Hey, 'Sea." I mumbled, yawning. "What are you doing up so late?"

Presea turned and stared at me.

"…I could not sleep." She murmured.

"Wanna talk about it?" I asked, stretching out a little bit.

Presea started shaking her head, but stopped in the middle of it. She stared right at me, her eyes changing color from the orange firelight.

"I don't know what to do." She said finally.

I raised an eyebrow. "About what?"

She shifted her gaze to the floor, before looking at me again. It might have been a trick of the light, but tears might have been building.

"I have been left behind by time. All the years I've spent…" Her hand moved towards the crimson Exsphere around her neck. "…Letting this _thing_ eat away at everything that makes me human, have been lost to me." She shivered, despite the almost unbearable heat of the room.

"…How long?" I asked.

She stared at the floor.

"Physically, I am twelve years old. Chronologically, I am approximately twenty-eight years old, with a one-year margin of error."

My eyes widened at the thought of it. Presea was older than everybody in the group, except maybe Regal.

She was silent for a time, before looking at me.

"…What do I do?" she asked. "What do I do with the time I've been given?"

I looked at her. I recognized this as a skit, but it was supposed to be an aside, Presea talking to herself…

What do I do?

"…Why are you asking me?" I said without thinking. I suppose I just have to do what it takes. If it works, yay, if not…

…Well, Genis won't be very happy.

She replied almost immediately. "My entire life has been order after order, with little to no time for myself. My Exsphere effectively eliminated my needs to eat or sleep: my days were spent working." She paused to think.

"I suppose now that I have the time, my mind is reflecting. I am thinking too hard to be able to sleep." She said.

"So, you figure you need orders?" I asked.

She replied quickly. "I suppose. I do not know."

Hmm.

"Well… I can't give you orders. Nobody can, anymore." I said.

"I know. I just…" she grunted, as though frustrated. "I just wish things were clearer."

"…I know how that feels." I mumbled. Ever since I was thrown in here, I just wanted something or someone to say that there was something definite I could do.

Instead, I get turned into a half-elf, given a set of robes, and wished the best of luck by… somebody.

"You do?" Presea asked.

I nodded, running my fingers around my pointed ears.

"Ever since the journey began, I've just been running around, trying to figure out what I had to do. I'm still looking, as a matter of fact. I'm not a fighter, like Lloyd, I'm not smart like Raine, and I may be a mage, but I'm no Genis…" I looked at her. "I'm just a kid who got wrapped up in something way over his head." I mumbled.

"…Do you think you will find your answer?" She asked.

I shook my head. "Who knows? All I can do is move forward and hope."

"…I see." She said.

"…But you know what? I think… It's a bit clearer for you." I said.

She looked at me and tilted her head, like she typically did when she was confused.

"You've had time taken from you, but it's been given back now. You can do whatever you want with your time. Whatever you want to do."

"But if you stay and lament, then you can't do anything with your time." I mumbled. "Then it'll be gone forever."

Presea was silent.

"…Just think about it. You're strong. You can figure this out." I said, looking back. I hope she wasn't angry.

She looked at me.

It may have been the firelight again, but I think she smiled.

"…Thank you, Richard." She said. She yawned.

"Excuse me. I must sleep now. Good night." She said, turning around.

"Good night." I mumbled, lumbering over the window in the lobby.

"Richard?"

I turned. Presea was by the door to her room.

"…I think you will find your purpose, someday."

And with that, she went into the girl's room.

I turned to the window, and looked at the stars, finding one little blue-ish one in the sky.

I already knew my purpose. I just wanted to go home to my family. I just want to go home.

I looked at the star. On nights where I could see the sky, my eyes were drawn to that star.

I liked to pretend it was Earth.

…

…I miss you, Mom.

* * *

...

Review, please.

Sincerely,

-Funny.


	7. Haircut

A short skit with Iris.

Review responses!

Regal Bryant Lover: Thanks for the tip! I'll be sure to remember it. I'm glad you like Richard!

Guest: ...I need a bit more info than that, I fear...

Enjoy! I do not own Tales of Symphonia.

Sincerely,

Funny.

* * *

Lloyd: Hey Iris?

Iris: Hmm?

Lloyd: Why do you keep your hair short like that?

Iris: How do you mean?

Lloyd: Well, I just don't see a lot of girls wear their hair like that. I just wondered why, is all.

Iris: Huh. Well, there is a bit of a story to it.

Genis: Like what?

Iris: Well, back in my school days, on the first day of a new year of school, when I was about five years old, I got assigned a seat right in front of this really nasty kid. About an hour into our activities, when the teacher wasn't looking, he grabbed the teacher's scissors- this pair of metal choppers, sharp as anything- and lopped off the ponytail I had.

Colette: That's awful!

Iris: Yeah. I was a complete wreck after that- bawling my eyes out. I didn't know it at the time, but the school had call- contacted my Dad, who walked into the classroom, and hugged me until I calmed down. You know what he said after I did? He said I looked cute with my hair short, and he would love me no matter what. From then on, I guess I sort of kept my hair short for him.

Colette: Your Dad sounds nice. Maybe we can meet him when we go to Asgard!

Iris: Y-yeah... Come to think of it, I'm gonna need a trim soon…

Lloyd: Maybe I could cut your hair!

Genis: What? You?

Lloyd: Yeah! I cut my own hair, and you keep your hair short like a boy would, so it shouldn't be any different, right?

Everyone but Lloyd: … (Exasperated silence)

Lloyd: *Confused* …What?

Genis: Wow.

Iris: Lloyd, you're a nice guy, but you seriously need to learn some tact.

Lloyd: ?

* * *

Seriously...

Read and Review, please!

Sincerely,

-Funny.


	8. Mommy

Well. Here we go. I hope it goes well. This is all a little outside of my comfort zone...

Special thanks to Regal Bryant Lover for helping me out! Thou art the coolest, I do declare.

Review responses!

Red Dog Krim- Thank you so much for the feedback! Everything helps!

Person is: Whitney Lawrence. Height: 5' 10". Hair: Dirty Blonde. Eyes: Brown.

On with the show! I do not own Tales of Symphonia!

Sincerely,

-Funny.

* * *

Hey. Whitney here.

This tip needs a bit of background, so here it is; well into my journey, after we found Tethe'alla, I wound up spending a lot more time around the group after Yggy- Yggdrasil- basically pointed out that I was treating the group like a means to an end.

It feels weird to be taking advice from the disco queen himself, but I ended up spending a lot more of my free time with the group.

…One in particular. You'll see what I mean.

My advice is: There's no shame in running for Mommy.

Or, well, the Team Mom.

…Don't tell her I called her that.

* * *

Crap.

Crap, crap, CRAP.

My legs flared into overdrive as I started running, not hearing my name, or the voice that told me to wait. I didn't feel like talking. I just felt like bawling my eyes out.

Ugh, gods, WHY!? Why did I just come out and say it? In what world did I have a bloody chance!?

…Crap.

I felt the tears running down my face, the entire scene- of the inn, the beach, and the Altamiran moonlight- blurred.

I threw open the door to the hotel room and locked it behind me.

I flopped on the matress and started sobbing. I don't know how long I had laid there, all I remember is the fog in my head, and the familiar clicking of the lock.

I don't know the exact events, but I do know that Raine spent the better part of ten minutes trying to calm me down.

"Stupid. Stupid." I'd sniff.

She'd just shush me and stroke my hair. Not asking, not berating, like some people think she would. Just a calming voice who was telling me that everything would be okay.

"What happened?" she murmured.

I was silent for a while after that.

"…Lloyd." I sniffed.

Raine let out a sympathetic sigh. My crush on the brunette had been the worst kept secret among the group, unknown to the man himself, or, more importantly, Colette.

"S-so stupid…" I sniffed. "I couldn't- I just had to tell him… I couldn't keep it a secret any longer…"

"What did you say?" she asked, her voice questioning, but soft, like a mother's.

"…I told him." I said, feeling myself talk around the lump in my throat. "I told him that I loved him, and was going absolutely crazy keeping it all to myself…"

"…And?" Raine asked, seeming to almost dread the answer.

I gave a humorless chuckle. Like everything else about him, his rejection had been flawless…

* * *

"I'm sorry, Whitney. You're my friend, and you've been there for me a lot… When Colette got kidnapped, when Kratos betrayed us, and when the Professor ran off… But I can't feel that way about you. You're like a sister to me…"

I stood there listening as the words I never wanted to hear left his lips.

I said nothing, but I turned.

Then I ran…

* * *

"Heh. I thought women put men in the friend zone…"

Raine said nothing, but she held me until I fell asleep.

…

Love bites.

* * *

Don't worry about it, though. I'm a big girl. I moved on. Eventually, Lloyd and I were thick as thieves again… Eventually.

…I won't pretend it doesn't sting when he looks at Colette, though…

* * *

That's it! I hope you enjoyed it!

Read and Review, please!

Sincerely,

-Funny.


	9. Homecoming

Here I am! With a character request. For Red Dog Krim.

His name is Kyle- he was eleven when he was thrown into the game, used knives, friend to Sheena and Genis. Redhead with some orange in it, green eyes. 4' 8". Kind of tanned. A little on the snotty side, but he learns.

But now...

Kyle Rodriguez. Age 17. Weapon: knives.

Let's do this.

Hope you like it, Red Dog Krim.

Speaking of which, review responses!

Red Dog Krim- CURSE ME!

Enjoy! I do not own Tales of Symphonia, or Kyle, I suppose!

Sincerely,

Funny.

* * *

Heya. My name's Kyle. In the short eleven years that I've been on this Earth, I honestly thought I had life- at least at that point, figured out.

Get up, take shower, eat breakfast, brush teeth, go to school, learn, have fun, do homework, and go to bed. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

My three years on Aselia changed that.

The journey had been a long one- I had done so much and seen so much. I was someone different now, compared to the (honestly) insufferable brat that had started that journey.

Of course, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. I had to do a few things I'll never forget. Killing someone being one of them. Stealing being another.

Gods.

Anyway.

My tip is…

…Be ready. Homecoming is unpleasant.

P.S.- Be ready.

* * *

"Cold pizza. The breakfast of champions."

I chuckled as I pulled a slice from the cheap cardboard, wincing slightly at the round, dark grease stain at the bottom of the box. Putting the solid mass of food in my mouth (not unlike a cat with its favorite toy), I just made my way to my room. I plopped down on my bed, munching on cold pepperoni.

"What to do today?" I wondered. Of course, I should do homework: high school was something of a challenge, considering I had "disappeared" for three bloody YEARS.

I can't believe I had to test into my classes. Luckily, I had one Ms. Raine Sage to thank for that.

I pushed a sigh past my lips as my mind slipped towards the past: more specifically, towards Aselia.

I stared at the ceiling, my pizza laying on my chest, forgotten.

How long has it been?

Two years, five months, fourteen days.

…

That's a lie. I haven't been counting. Come on. Lloyd would kick my ass for that cliché.

Around two years, though.

A lot has happened, though- Ma had a panic attack when I pulled my vanishing act, and freaked out when I suddenly appeared in the middle of the living room, a big ol' fourteen-year-old.

I'm sixteen now, and a far cry from the snobby little brat that started a journey he couldn't comprehend.

Still don't, actually. It's honestly hard to believe that it had actually happened.

If it weren't for the garnet ring I had on my hand (A parting gift from the Sheenster), I'd probably think I was crazy.

Maybe I am.

Blarg.

I looked towards my backpack, filled to bursting with books.

…Eh, it can wait.

…Maybe I should brush up on my knifework, just for old time's sake.

* * *

I flipped the kitchen knife into a reverse grip, and got into a combative stance. I started with a few basic combos, wincing at how rusty I had gotten. I silently berated myself for neglecting training- Kratos would so kill me if he saw this pathetic display. As I settled into the familiar routine of practice, I marveled at how clear my mind was.

Before I knew it, I was practicing daily.

My training carried on, even when I had deemed that I had practiced back to my old standard.

However…

Six months after the training started…

* * *

I wiped the sweat off of my brow, exhausted. I had put everything and more into that training session. I gulped down air as fast as I could- how did I get this exhausted?

At least I have my abs back.

I chuckled. Ah, well. Lemonade time!

I started to walk back to the house, thinking only of the delicious beverage in the fridge.

I stumbled, lightheaded.

Ooh. Better make it a water. I don't think I took long enough water breaks.

My walking became more and more erratic, and I ended up on my hands and knees.

_Shit._

Then I passed out.

Not eloquent, but hey, what do you want from me? At least I didn't fall on my knife: then Kratos would find a way to somehow shatter my headstone. From another dimension. IN SPACE.

* * *

"…Are you okay?"

I tried to open my eyes- and got a full dose of sunshine square to the face. I was vaguely aware of a light brown and bright white blur leaning over me.

Was that red on her forehead? Was she bleeding?

"Aaagh…"

"Hey, take it easy." The voice reprimanded. "Keep still…"

Before I could ask her what she was doing, a wave of relief washed over me- effectively killing my protests.

Wait.

Oh, crap.

That feeling. First Aid.

I shot up like a rocket, earning a startled "Geez!" from the girl who woke me.

Please don't be there, no no no…

I looked at the expanse before me- there was no mistaking it.

Asgard. The City of Ruins.

My jaw dropped.

"Are you okay, mister?" A tan, blonde haired teenager said, ambling into my view. His green eyes had concern welling inside of them.

"We found you on the outskirts. Are you-"

What happened next had to be bleeped. Needless to say, when I turned to face the duo, they were more than a little shocked at my outburst.

I felt something weird. One of my fingers was a little warm.

My attention turned to the garnet ring on my finger.

…

"Home at last…" I swore, rounding on Asgard and running a hand through my already windswept hair.

…Looks like I still have some work to do…

* * *

I liked writing this!

Hope you enjoyed it, Red Dog Krim.

Review, please!

Sincerely,

Funny.


End file.
